By Pastor Jon
Solid question.
But, this is never really just a good question, in the general sense of this concept, because you can never simply answer this in theory. It is only in life’s practice that the truth within us, rises to the surface, and our handling easily becomes mishandled.
We get hands like Kieran Read. And there’s a 14-point Try at the other end to Ireland. This is rugby. You’re welcome!
As I have considered this in my own journey, I have been reminded of words from, Scott Sauls, Timothy Keller.
… as I have previously mentioned in my book Befriend, Tim is one of the best examples I have seen of covering shame with the gospel. In five years of serving under his leadership, never once did I see him tear another person down to his or her face, on the Internet, or through gossip. Instead, he seemed to always assume the good in people. Occasionally, he would talk about how having the forgiveness and affirmation of Jesus frees us to “catch people doing good” instead of looking for things to criticize or be offended by. Even when someone had truly done wrong or been in error, Tim would respond with humble restraint and self-reflection instead of venting negativity and criticism. Like the grace of God does, Tim covered people’s flaws and sins—including mine on more than one occasion. He did this because that’s what grace does … it reminds us that in Jesus we are shielded and protected from the worst things about ourselves. Because Jesus shields us like this, we of all people should restore reputations versus destroying reputations, protect a good name versus calling someone a name, shut down gossip versus feeding gossip, and restore broken relationships versus begrudging broken people.
Finally, Tim could receive criticism, most of which came from the outside and was almost always unfair, and it would bring out the best in him rather than bring out the worst in him. By his words and example, he taught me that getting defensive about criticism rarely, if ever, leads to healthy outcomes. He also taught me that our critics, including the ones who mischaracterize and falsely accuse us as pastors, can sometimes be God’s instruments to teach and humble us as persons. In Tim’s words from one of my favorite essays of his called “How Do You Take Criticism of Your Views?”:
First, you should look to see if there is a kernel of truth in even the most exaggerated and unfair broadsides … So even if the censure is partly or even largely mistaken, look for what you may indeed have done wrong. Perhaps you simply acted or spoke in a way that was not circumspect. Maybe the critic is partly right for the wrong reasons. Nevertheless, identify your own shortcomings, repent in your own heart before the Lord for what you can, and let that humble you. It will then be possible to learn from the criticism and stay gracious to the critic even if you have to disagree with what he or she has said. If the criticism comes from someone who doesn’t know you at all [and often this is the case on the Internet] it is possible that the criticism is completely unwarranted and profoundly mistaken. I am often pilloried not only for views I do have, but also even more often for views [and motives] that I do not hold at all. When that happens it is even easier to fall into a smugness and perhaps be tempted to laugh at how mistaken your critics are. “Pathetic …” you may be tempted to say. Don’t do it. Even if there is not the slightest kernel of truth in what the critic says, you should not mock them in your thoughts. First, remind yourself of examples of your own mistakes, foolishness, and cluelessness in the past, times in which you really got something wrong. Second, pray for the critic, that he or she grows in grace.
If you are going to do anything for God, people will have an opinion. It will often be shared, and we all know that sharing is caring. Sometimes.
These words evoke another Cultural Value: “Imitation is the Flourishing Art of Realised Discipleship, and the Expectant Result of Believers, Who Can Be Righteously Copied.”
Humility is a road that both leads to the Gospel, and also follows, as a consequence of the Gospel. When we perpetually realise our need, like it has sunk our own self-salvation project, it is hard to disagree with the opinion of others, reclining on Another’s record as our forever standing.
Life is the exam.
Good thing Jesus already aced it!
Now live in light!
For the Fame of His Name
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Quote: Scott Sauls, From Weakness to Strength: 8 Vulnerabilities That Can Bring Out the Best in Your Leadership, location 1877-1903 [David C. Cook, October 1, 2017].